I’ve never made an announcement like this before, and it feels very awkward and shouty to do it through a computer screen, so please be nice and pretend that we’re sitting in your living room. I’ll give you a minute to get settled.

The thing is, I’ve been working on my manuscript, yes, yes, but I’ve also been working on something else. That something else has made it difficult, actually, to work on my manuscript, because it’s made me want to lie on the couch instead, eating peanut butter sandwiches and fantasizing about donuts. I know it doesn’t look like much, but it’s there, under my shirt. I’ll give you a hint. It’s a baby.

I’m 13 weeks along, and if all goes according to plan, we will meet this baby sometime around September 4. That means that we will likely be a family of three Virgos. Pray for us.

Wanting to be parents is a recent development for us. I’ve never been into babies, though I can already tell that my own baby will be a very different story. But what I’m most excited about is getting to know the person that we made. I’m excited about introducing this person to chocolate malts, and pizza, and Bruce Springsteen. I’m excited to read When the Sky Is Like Lace with this person, the way my dad read it with me. I’m excited about getting to know Brandon as a parent. I’m excited about getting to know myself as a parent. I’m ready, and I’m not at all ready, but more than anything, I just feel lucky to get to have this experience.

For the past couple of months, whenever I’ve been out and about, driving or sitting at a stoplight, I catch myself staring at people on the street, and sometimes even at their pets, thinking, “Hey, that guy with the facial tattoo was once a baby! That nice-looking older gentleman has a mother, and she gave birth to him! That dog was once an embryo! That woman in the pant suit used to be inside another woman’s uterus!” Pregnancy has turned me into Jack Handey, and I’ve hardly even started yet.

Here we go.