{"id":9774,"date":"2016-12-07T13:59:54","date_gmt":"2016-12-07T18:59:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/?p=9774"},"modified":"2016-12-07T14:27:07","modified_gmt":"2016-12-07T19:27:07","slug":"december-7","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/","title":{"rendered":"December 7"},"content":{"rendered":"

Today it’s been 14 years since my dad died, and in most ways, it seems\u00a0like longer than that. I’ve done a lot of living – maybe too much?\u00a0– in those 14 years. But I can still hear his voice in my head, and I can still feel the hug he gave me in our driveway before I left to drive to Seattle for graduate school, in September of 2002. Burg would be 87 now, and I’m sort of glad I never had to see him diminished by old age – or, at least, not more than he was diminished in his last weeks, as cancer had its way with him. He would be glad\u00a0to know that Mom and I now live a block apart, within sight of Puget Sound, and that one night in August, when things felt hard and I needed comfort, I pulled out an old t-shirt of his that I’d kept all this time but never worn, a royal blue\u00a0Classen Grill<\/a>\u00a0t-shirt with the logo on the back and the words “peaches and cream” written in four languages on the front. It still smelled like him, and I put it on and slept in it, and I felt better. Wherever he is, I hope he’s doing it up right, as he was in this photo (he’s on the left, with family friend Ed Fretwell on the right), drinking something boozy out of a plastic coupe in a swimming pool, eating well, and grinning about it.<\/p>\n

\"burganded\"<\/p>\n

(By the way, as a kid, I was terrified of that pool cleaning device you see in the background, which propelled itself slowly and menacingly around, dragging its\u00a0long tube of a tail. I half-expected to hear the Jaws theme song<\/a> every time I got into the Fretwells’ pool. Burg and Ed clearly did not share my fear.)<\/p>\n

Speaking of\u00a0fear: I should have known, knowing this community, that I had no reason to be afraid when I wrote the previous post. I don’t understand it, but you have always been so good to me, and this post was no exception. I’ve read every single comment, most of them more than once, and I want to thank you, a million times over, for your understanding and kindness.\u00a0What I’ve experienced is something that even\u00a0I\u00a0<\/em>struggle to understand, and\u00a0your compassion\u00a0felt like a lot to ask or even hope for. But you offered it to me anyway. I am honored and astounded by what this site has become, and that has as much to do with you as it does with\u00a0me.<\/p>\n

A reader named Rosemary – hi, Rosemary! – left a link in the comments to the\u00a0poem “Failing and Flying,” by Jack Gilbert<\/a>.\u00a0I’d not seen before, and if you’ve not seen it either, I recommend you go take a look. It’s so good and so wise. Thank you, Rosemary.<\/p>\n

A couple of other good things: the writer Zadie Smith<\/a>\u00a0on Fresh Air, and longtime LGBTQ activist Cleve Jones<\/a>, too. When I was a kid and my family was doing volunteer work for the AIDS Memorial Quilt<\/a>, which Jones founded, his name came up often.\u00a0Cleve Jones was a hero and a celebrity in our household, and\u00a0I’m glad he’s still out there, fighting the good fight.<\/p>\n

I want to eat this<\/a>. (Thanks for the nudge, Gemma<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

This hilarity<\/a>, via illustrator-writer Hallie Bateman<\/a>. Sign me up for cocooning and sardining.<\/p>\n

And last but not least, a holiday cookies episode<\/a> of Spilled Milk! With a warning: we recorded this before the presidential election, so prepare to weep copiously when we express optimism about its outcome.<\/p>\n

Thank you again. And again and again.<\/p>\n

xo<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today it’s been 14 years since my dad died, and in most ways, it seems\u00a0like longer than that. I’ve done a lot of living – maybe too much?\u00a0– in those 14 years. But I can still hear his voice in my head, and I can still feel the hug he gave me in our driveway before I left to drive to Seattle for graduate school, in September of 2002. Burg would be 87 now, and I’m sort of glad I never had to see him diminished by old age – or, at least, not more than he was diminished in his last weeks, as cancer had its way with him. He would be glad\u00a0to know that Mom and I now…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[96,603,70,115,604,165],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDecember 7 | Orangette<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"December 7 | Orangette\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Today it’s been 14 years since my dad died, and in most ways, it seems\u00a0like longer than that. I’ve done a lot of living – maybe too much?\u00a0– in those 14 years. But I can still hear his voice in my head, and I can still feel the hug he gave me in our driveway before I left to drive to Seattle for graduate school, in September of 2002. Burg would be 87 now, and I’m sort of glad I never had to see him diminished by old age – or, at least, not more than he was diminished in his last weeks, as cancer had its way with him. He would be glad\u00a0to know that Mom and I now…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Orangette\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/molly.wizenberg\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-12-07T18:59:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-12-07T19:27:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/burganded-625x500.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@mollyorangette\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@mollyorangette\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Molly\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/#website\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/\",\"name\":\"Orangette\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/#primaryimage\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/burganded-625x500.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/burganded-625x500.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/\",\"name\":\"December 7 | Orangette\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2016-12-07T18:59:54+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-12-07T19:27:07+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/#\/schema\/person\/72d7c362f82fa0578c635d88a69d07fe\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"December 7\"}]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/#\/schema\/person\/72d7c362f82fa0578c635d88a69d07fe\",\"name\":\"Molly\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/orangette.net\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/author\/molly\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"December 7 | Orangette","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"December 7 | Orangette","og_description":"Today it’s been 14 years since my dad died, and in most ways, it seems\u00a0like longer than that. I’ve done a lot of living – maybe too much?\u00a0– in those 14 years. But I can still hear his voice in my head, and I can still feel the hug he gave me in our driveway before I left to drive to Seattle for graduate school, in September of 2002. Burg would be 87 now, and I’m sort of glad I never had to see him diminished by old age – or, at least, not more than he was diminished in his last weeks, as cancer had its way with him. He would be glad\u00a0to know that Mom and I now…","og_url":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/","og_site_name":"Orangette","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/molly.wizenberg","article_published_time":"2016-12-07T18:59:54+00:00","article_modified_time":"2016-12-07T19:27:07+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/burganded-625x500.jpg"}],"twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@mollyorangette","twitter_site":"@mollyorangette","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Molly","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/#website","url":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/","name":"Orangette","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/#primaryimage","inLanguage":"en-US","url":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/burganded-625x500.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/burganded-625x500.jpg"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/#webpage","url":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/","name":"December 7 | Orangette","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/#primaryimage"},"datePublished":"2016-12-07T18:59:54+00:00","dateModified":"2016-12-07T19:27:07+00:00","author":{"@id":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/#\/schema\/person\/72d7c362f82fa0578c635d88a69d07fe"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2016\/12\/december-7\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"December 7"}]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/#\/schema\/person\/72d7c362f82fa0578c635d88a69d07fe","name":"Molly","sameAs":["http:\/\/orangette.net"],"url":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/author\/molly\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9774"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9774"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9774\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9787,"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9774\/revisions\/9787"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9774"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9774"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9774"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}