{"id":1789,"date":"2004-12-26T06:55:00","date_gmt":"2004-12-26T06:55:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elitemporaryblog.wordpress.com\/2004\/12\/26\/on-christmas-crab-and-carousing"},"modified":"2015-09-24T03:54:34","modified_gmt":"2015-09-24T03:54:34","slug":"on-christmas-crab-and-carousing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2004\/12\/on-christmas-crab-and-carousing\/","title":{"rendered":"On Christmas, crab, and carousing"},"content":{"rendered":"
Membership in my family comes with a crash course in the local food vernacular. There\u2019s no printed thesaurus (yet), but it all makes sense in context: \u201cstrawbuzzy\u201d is synonymous with \u201cstrawberry,\u201d \u201cdee-doc-doc\u201d with \u201cchocolate milk,\u201d \u201ccheenies\u201d with \u201craisins,\u201d and \u201con-tream\u201d with \u201cice cream.\u201d And when San Francisco<\/a> is our holiday meeting place,<\/p>\n \u201cChristmas\u201d means \u201cDungeness crabs<\/a>.\u201d Christmas Eve begins with an elaborate table-setting ritual. First comes a layer of plastic garbage bags, finished with a generous topcoat of newspaper. A roll of paper towels is placed at one end, and nutcrackers\u2014pinch-hitting as crabcrackers for the night\u2014are strewn around. A clear plastic bag full of cracked and cleaned crabs makes an impressive centerpiece<\/strong>, candlesticks glowing on either side. We steam bowlfuls of green beans and cut thick slices of Acme<\/a> bread, and glasses of chilled white wine in hand, we gather.<\/p>\n The carnage begins. Fingers sticky with shell shards and juice<\/strong>, we eat as though there weren\u2019t a second to lose, as though we were afraid the crabs would reassemble themselves and sneak away if we let up the pace. It\u2019s not for the timid, and die-hards have been known to go to great lengths to ready themselves. Witness Katie<\/a>, in the foreground above, who, nursing a frightening Xacto knife injury this year, Saran-wrapped the finger in question so as not to be handicapped or unduly slowed. The crabmeat is sweet, delicate, falling-apart tender.<\/p>\n Our family being predominantly female, talk tends toward stories of false labor, unseemly gynecologic reactions to tetracycline, and late-night emergency trips to the hospital. [Jim and Andrew, this year\u2019s token men, took refuge in each other and in manly, expansive gestures and grunts about football.] The wine flows freely, and we laugh and sigh and lick our fingers. And when the last shell is wiped clean<\/strong>, we roll up the newspaper, shove it into bags, and carry it out to the garbage. It’s as though nothing had happened at all.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
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Of course, Christmas also means plenty of other things: feigned suspense as we peek into our stockings, four-hour one-person-at-a-time present-opening marathons, occasional \u201csad attacks\u201d and stories of those no longer with us<\/a>, a full afternoon in the kitchen, and the much-loved and much-dreaded Mannheim Steamroller Christmas<\/em> album<\/strong> (keeping us cringing since 1984). But in San Francisco, crabs come before all else.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
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