{"id":1763,"date":"2005-03-20T21:04:00","date_gmt":"2005-03-20T21:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elitemporaryblog.wordpress.com\/2005\/03\/20\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread"},"modified":"2015-09-24T03:54:28","modified_gmt":"2015-09-24T03:54:28","slug":"9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/","title":{"rendered":"9 am Sunday: sugar and shortbread"},"content":{"rendered":"

When my former employer Rebecca and her gay husband Jimmy promised another buttery breakfast<\/a>, they meant business.<\/p>\n

As I learned in the Dutch babies episode, Jimmy fears no fat<\/strong>. He is a firm believer in butter, cream, and all things buttercreamy, and his waffles are no exception. Not content to settle for a normal version, he makes a shortbread waffle<\/strong> that is, as one might expect, heavy on the butter. In fact, the batter is rich and thick enough to be dolloped onto the waffle iron with an ice cream scoop<\/strong>, awe-inspiring in a way that\u2019s both very beautiful and completely terrifying.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Rebecca\u2019s straight husband\u2014and comic straight man<\/a>\u2014John nearly hyperventilated at the sight. Jimmy closed the lid of the iron with cool confidence. Rebecca sipped her orange juice nonchalantly and toyed with a plate of bacon. The whole spectacle sent me into a cold sweat<\/strong>, some sort of strange and dreadful anticipation.<\/p>\n

\u201cJimmy, what kind of syrup do you use on your waffles?\u201d I asked by way of distraction.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, you know\u2014just the regular pancake syrup. That\u2019s what Rebecca likes,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m surprised you\u2019re not a 100%-maple guy,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not nearly<\/em> enough sugar, Little Bird!\u201d* Rebecca interjected; \u201cI need more! I\u2019ve got to have my sugar!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRebecca, maple syrup is<\/em> sugar,\u201d I reminded her, but it was a wasted effort. She’s very serious about these things. When Jimmy makes waffles, Rebecca gets an entire pitcher of syrup all to herself. <\/strong>There\u2019s already a cup of sugar in the batter, but that\u2019s far from sufficient. We\u2019re dealing here with a very unconventional woman, and her sugar needs are only appropriate\u2014wildly immoderate, fantastically indecent, and very, very serious.<\/p>\n

Behold, as meager illustration, her plate of waffles, and please keep in mind that this was only the first syrup pour<\/em>. There would be others to follow, as well as another swipe or two of butter. In the background is her (sizable) syrup pitcher, which of course had to be emptied. If you look closely, you\u2019ll note that each well of the waffle\u2014itself a matrix of sugar and sugar<\/strong>\u2014was swollen with syrup, barely able to hold itself together. I believe that what I witnessed was a sort of violence. A very tasty violence.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, over on my plate, there was less syrup\u2014truth be told, I\u2019m a maple snob\u2014but a similar enthusiasm. The waffles were rich and sweet, with the tight, buttery crumb and snap of a shortbread cookie<\/strong>. In fact, though I\u2019m not usually one to delay gratification, I\u2019d be tempted to save them for dessert, with warm maple syrup and a creamy, melting scoop of good vanilla ice cream.<\/p>\n

But then again, saving sugar for dessert would be so conventional.<\/p>\n

*Rebecca began calling me \u201cLittle Bird\u201d at some point during my period of employment as her Queen of Customer Service. Though I first found the nickname a bit odd and irritating, I\u2019ve developed quite a fondness for it. And anyway, if you compare my syrup consumption with Rebecca\u2019s, it starts to sound rather fitting.<\/span><\/p>\n

Jimmy\u2019s Shortbread Waffles<\/strong>
Adapted from the recipe book that came with his Salton waffle iron<\/p>\n

Jimmy tells me that these waffles freeze well and reheat beautifully in the toaster\u2014a sophisticated Eggo, if you will.<\/p>\n

1 \u00be cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
A good squeeze of fresh lemon juice<\/p>\n

Sift the flour and sugar together into a large bowl. In a separate medium bowl, beat the eggs with an electric beater until fluffy. Add the eggs to the flour-sugar mixture, and beat together until just combined. Add the butter and lemon juice, and mix until smooth. Do not overmix. The batter will be very thick. Use an ice cream scoop\u2014or a 1\/3 cup measuring scoop\u2014to dollop the batter onto a heated waffle iron. Cook until golden.<\/p>\n

Yield: 12 smallish (Eggo-size, say) waffles.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When my former employer Rebecca and her gay husband Jimmy promised another buttery breakfast, they meant business. As I learned in the Dutch babies episode, Jimmy fears no fat. He is a firm believer in butter, cream, and all things buttercreamy, and his waffles are no exception. Not content to settle for a normal version, he makes a shortbread waffle that is, as one might expect, heavy on the butter. In fact, the batter is rich and thick enough to be dolloped onto the waffle iron with an ice cream scoop, awe-inspiring in a way that\u2019s both very beautiful and completely terrifying. Rebecca\u2019s straight husband\u2014and comic straight man\u2014John nearly hyperventilated at the sight. Jimmy closed the lid of the iron…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n9 am Sunday: sugar and shortbread | Orangette<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"9 am Sunday: sugar and shortbread | Orangette\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When my former employer Rebecca and her gay husband Jimmy promised another buttery breakfast, they meant business. As I learned in the Dutch babies episode, Jimmy fears no fat. He is a firm believer in butter, cream, and all things buttercreamy, and his waffles are no exception. Not content to settle for a normal version, he makes a shortbread waffle that is, as one might expect, heavy on the butter. In fact, the batter is rich and thick enough to be dolloped onto the waffle iron with an ice cream scoop, awe-inspiring in a way that\u2019s both very beautiful and completely terrifying. Rebecca\u2019s straight husband\u2014and comic straight man\u2014John nearly hyperventilated at the sight. Jimmy closed the lid of the iron…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Orangette\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/molly.wizenberg\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2005-03-20T21:04:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-09-24T03:54:28+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2005\/03\/Waffle_batter_scoops_on_iron.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@mollyorangette\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@mollyorangette\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Molly\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/#website\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/\",\"name\":\"Orangette\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/#primaryimage\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2005\/03\/Waffle_batter_scoops_on_iron.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2005\/03\/Waffle_batter_scoops_on_iron.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/\",\"name\":\"9 am Sunday: sugar and shortbread | Orangette\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2005-03-20T21:04:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-09-24T03:54:28+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/#\/schema\/person\/72d7c362f82fa0578c635d88a69d07fe\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"9 am Sunday: sugar and shortbread\"}]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/orangette.net\/#\/schema\/person\/72d7c362f82fa0578c635d88a69d07fe\",\"name\":\"Molly\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/orangette.net\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/orangette.net\/author\/molly\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"9 am Sunday: sugar and shortbread | Orangette","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"9 am Sunday: sugar and shortbread | Orangette","og_description":"When my former employer Rebecca and her gay husband Jimmy promised another buttery breakfast, they meant business. As I learned in the Dutch babies episode, Jimmy fears no fat. He is a firm believer in butter, cream, and all things buttercreamy, and his waffles are no exception. Not content to settle for a normal version, he makes a shortbread waffle that is, as one might expect, heavy on the butter. In fact, the batter is rich and thick enough to be dolloped onto the waffle iron with an ice cream scoop, awe-inspiring in a way that\u2019s both very beautiful and completely terrifying. Rebecca\u2019s straight husband\u2014and comic straight man\u2014John nearly hyperventilated at the sight. Jimmy closed the lid of the iron…","og_url":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/","og_site_name":"Orangette","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/molly.wizenberg","article_published_time":"2005-03-20T21:04:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2015-09-24T03:54:28+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2005\/03\/Waffle_batter_scoops_on_iron.jpg"}],"twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@mollyorangette","twitter_site":"@mollyorangette","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Molly","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/#website","url":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/","name":"Orangette","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/#primaryimage","inLanguage":"en-US","url":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2005\/03\/Waffle_batter_scoops_on_iron.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2005\/03\/Waffle_batter_scoops_on_iron.jpg"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/#webpage","url":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/","name":"9 am Sunday: sugar and shortbread | Orangette","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/#primaryimage"},"datePublished":"2005-03-20T21:04:00+00:00","dateModified":"2015-09-24T03:54:28+00:00","author":{"@id":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/#\/schema\/person\/72d7c362f82fa0578c635d88a69d07fe"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/2005\/03\/9-am-sunday-sugar-and-shortbread\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"9 am Sunday: sugar and shortbread"}]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"http:\/\/orangette.net\/#\/schema\/person\/72d7c362f82fa0578c635d88a69d07fe","name":"Molly","sameAs":["http:\/\/orangette.net"],"url":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/author\/molly\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1763"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1763"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1763\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2327,"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1763\/revisions\/2327"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1763"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1763"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orangette.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1763"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}